Wifey Wednesday – Communicating in marriage

Focus on being a godly wife.

I love having one day a week when I get to focus on how to be a better more godly wife. I have so much to learn and so far to grow and these always challenge me to go back to the Word and let the Holy Spirit examine my heart to see where I need to change next.

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Col 4:6

It is better to live in a corner of a roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Prov 21:9

Speech, communicating, is probably one of the biggest issues in marriage.

How do we communicate with our husbands that is honest yet respectful. Some women think that we should stuff our feelings, but this is not being a HELPmate. On the other hand, being bossy or manipulative is never a godly response.

So how DO we speak to our husbands?

  • Without being bossy

communicate without being bossy

Quite often we have VERY definite ideas on how things are supposed to be run in life. And we usually are quick to share what those ideas are. The problem is that we can become bossy and arrogant in our speech. No one wants to be patronized, and speaking to our husbands with that attitude or tone get us NO WHERE in building intimate and respectful communication.

  • In a non-confrontational time

wifey wednesday communication
It is always best to discuss issues or concerns during non-confrontational times. As in: not during an argument! In an argument, it is very hard for us to be willing to be wrong or humbled – our goal is to WIN the argument and prove to the other spouse why THEY are wrong. This is not the basis of healthy communication.

If you have serious things to discuss, especially if there is conflict between you, go out for a date. Being away from eager ears of children and away from distractions of TV or newspapers or computers or housework gives greater capacity for focused communications. You really need to put aside all outside distractions so you can seek to settle your hearts on how GOD wants you to work these issues out.

  • In prayer

communicating in prayer
More than anything else, communication in our marriage should be centered in Christ! Of course that is much harder if our husbands are not saved, BUT we can still make sure that OUR hearts are centered in the Lord’s best for our marriages.

Coming before the Lord and laying down our own agendas and asking for wisdom to see HIS is the best place for us to be and the best place from which to communicate with our husbands.

So what are the areas where YOU need to grow in your communication with your husband? What is a healthy change that you can make to help strengthen your marriage and help honor and respect your husband?

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash
All Scripture quotations are taken from the NASB.

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  1. Kate, as soon as I clicked your link I knew I’d love reading what you have to say! We’ve got the same verse motivating our writing. 🙂

    For me, I think I need to work on communication TIMING. I don’t try to discuss issues in the heat of the moment anymore, but my timing still stinks. I try talking when he’s on the computer or watching hockey, and then feel frustrated that I’m not getting his full attention. I need to be more careful about choosing times when he’s not engaged in something else. We used to “make an appointment” to discuss issues; maybe I can try that again…

    • Thanks for visiting! Timing IS very important, isn’t it! Pro 25:11 says: “Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances.” Making appointments to discuss important issues is a great idea!

  2. I also need to work on my timing. As I work to get things accomplished either for myself or for others I have to remember- its all about the timing. My timing vs God’s timing or my husbands timing. For some reason they never line up , lol. I just need to learn or remember “Timing is everything”

    • Amen to that, Debi! Thanks for coming by…and I’m working on timing right along with you!


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