Where do we get the idea that our lives should be perfect?

Just pondering today about homeschool moms and the pressures we put on ourselves to ‘have it all together’.  So many times I’ve seen loving dedicated homeschool moms stressing out because they can’t do it all.  Over the years, I’ve been one of those and spoken to countless others.

not perfect

Fear guides so much of this mental image we hold.

We have this mental list of being afraid to take time off from school to regroup or do some serious character training or take a much needed rest during times of serious stress (illness, death of loved one, a move or birth, etc.).

  • Is our fear of falling behind stemming from our worries over how the world will see us?
  • Is it from fear over the negative comments we’ve already gotten from relatives or neighbors?
  • Is it from our fears that we already feel inadequate and ill-equipped?
  • Is it from our training in our own upbringing or education?

The one thing is clear, it stems from fear.

I’ve struggled with it in the past and periodically still struggle with it.  I don’t want people to look at me and see what I see…someone who worries that her children won’t make it in college or life, someone who doesn’t have a perfectly groomed yard (and quite possibly never will), someone who lives with piles rather than perfectly organized beauty (and even THIS is a step up from the “heaps” of the past!), someone who doesn’t have perfectly behaved children, whose children fight and argue and periodically fall into patterns of disobedience and (gasp) rebellion (sounds like ME instead of my children!!!), someone who struggles with shame and anxiety because of her weight, someone who fails over and over and over again.

Why is it that, when we have the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, we still struggle with fear that keeps us in bondage?

I think we need to spend a lot more time encouraging one another with freedom and joy and victory in the Lord.  We need to speak more grace to one another – to share the reality that those fears DO NOT define us!

Isn’t it amazing how time spent with someone who turns our eyes to the Lord can bring such freedom and joy into our hearts?  When we (like Peter as he walked upon the water) keep our eyes turned to Jesus, we are able to walk in victory and peace and power.  But when our eyes are turned to ourselves, our inadequacies and fears, we begin to fall into the very failures that hold us captive when we allow them to.  I want my life to be one of hope and blessing to all those around me seeking to walk in victory with Christ.  I want my words to encourage and bless and bring Life.

How has God been freeing YOU from this fear?

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  1. I enjoyed reading your post today. I would have loved to home school my children. You are very blessed. I to have struggled with some of the things you mentioned. I try to always remember 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." I still have to work very hard on this. I keep this on my frig so I will be reminded daily. Thanks for sharing your story. Cheryl

  2. I was actually thinking about this the other day. I think for me, when I fall into this trap, it’s because I internalize this idea that every sin/mistake has irreversible consequences, and so any mistake I make could be The One That Breaks Everything and Sends My Life Crashing Down. This, of course, leaves us living in fear with no room for grace or God working through the bad to bring something good! Obviously not the right answer there!

    • Wow! Praise GOD we don’t have to live in that lie — but can be COVERED AND FILLED with His grace and redemption!!


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