Is your submission godly or fleshly?


I know, that sounds like a bizarre question. But I can tell you that I have had more than my fair share of walking in the flesh in my submission. And I’m here to say that it was NOT good for our marriage! You may have experienced this for yourself. Times where you think, “Hey! I’m being submissive and my husband is just a mess. The more submissive I am, the less we are being united. I don’t get it!”

  • Are you finding yourself competing with your husband in your heart as to who is more ‘spiritual’?
  • Are you trying to make his job easier and easier (especially in times of stress) and taking ALL of his roles onto yourself?
  • Are you never speaking your concerns to him under the guise of not wanting to take over?
  • Are you finding that he seems to be floundering and you seem to be struggling with resentment?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these questions, then perhaps YOU are submitting in the flesh and NOT in the Spirit. What difference does it make so long as we are submitting? Doesn’t doing what is right make it okay even if our heart isn’t always in the right place?

“The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.” Rom 14:22-23

Our job is not JUST to submit. If that is what we think then we have forgotten our #1 role: to be a helpmate. Way back in Genesis 2, we were created to be a helper to our husbands. That isn’t just being a Yes Woman. We weren’t designed to live a marriage where our husbands live as bachelors with conjugal rights. We were designed to be PARTNERS, to HELP and ENCOURAGE, to AID our husbands in their work and home. Part of this means we need to be lovingly honest. Of course this also means we need to seek the Spirit for when and how to speak our concerns. Blurting things out in the middle of an argument is NOT walking in the Spirit anymore than never speaking up is.

We need to prayerfully seek for God’s timing but always with a heart to speak truth to our husbands. We need to share our concerns without judging or pointing fingers. We need to walk humbly with the Lord, knowing full well that some of the problems in our home could be coming from US.

So, this week, take some time and ask the Lord if your submission if from the Spirit or the flesh. And ask Him to purify  your motives and heart to build and strengthen your husband and your marriage. Let’s all walk by faith!

(photo courtesy of vectorportal/

Blogs I might be linking to: Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Back to School Monday, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R

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  1. In the distant past, I would be submissive in public just to show how spiritual I was. This post is a great reminder that we can do the good, right, and Biblical thing but still be in sin if what we are doing is done with the wrong motive. Thanks for sharing!

    • Sylvia, I am so glad God has brought you past that! But, unfortunately for me, I tend to live 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. I write things that *I* need to remember as much as things others might need to read. Thanks so much for coming by.

  2. Mercy, Kate — OUCH! Seriously great post with some good convicting stuff. I can see you’ve walked that path a time or two. Me too 😉

    • You know it, Susan! Praise God for His wonderous work in our lives!


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