Stress: good or bad

Many things can cause stress in our lives. Some of them can even be good things. Getting married, having a baby, starting a new job, buying a house are (generally) all good things, but they are definitely stressful. Other things can be not so good: losing a job, getting a divorce, the death of a loved one, a rebellious child, financial or physical struggles.
Very often things that cause stress are out of our control. Sometimes, however, they are not only within our control, but they are of our own making.
“Who wants to make themselves stressed?” you ask.
Well, perhaps no one on purpose, but sometimes we set ridiculously high standards for a task or project that just sets us up for failure and stress.
I wish I could write and say, “NOT ME, though!”
I’ve been known to have the family waiting in the van to leave for a vacation while I’m in the house scrubbing the kitchen floor! WHY??? I have NO idea! Sure it’s nice to come home to a sparkling clean kitchen but is it worth it to have a cranky mom? Well, since being cranky with my family is sin on my part, I’ll have to say No for that one!
I’ve set goals, standards, and even convinced myself that these things HAD to get done. I’d push and push and get crankier and crankier the closer I got to realizing it was NOT going to be fulfilled. OR I’d stay up all night to MAKE it happen. And you know the old saying, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” — well I’ve fulfilled THAT one more times than I care to count.
Now that I’m 58 older, I look at my life and I think WHO CARES???
- Will my children serve the Lord less faithfully if the kitchen floor isn’t scrubbed before a vacation or the dishes are undone?
- Will my testimony of love for Jesus be any less real if my son goes to church with one slipper and one cowboy boot?
- Will my company enjoy our visit any less if I haven’t cleaned behind the couches in 5 months and I serve them hot dogs and beans?
- Will my children be any less capable in college if I take a week off of homeschooling because I have to deep clean the house before the holidays?
These are the kinds of things I’ve stressed myself about for years.
BUT NO MORE!!!
Of course, if you read my previous posts, we DO actually deep clean our house (and clean under/behind couches) and I DO actually plan meals and DO actually do laundry. But I no longer push for the unrealistic standards that require me to become a Sergent Major with my family. And I DO teach my children how to work at home and to faithfully do chores. BUT sometimes we’ll drop it all and hop in the van, drive out to a secluded area and watch for meteorites or spend the evening reading or playing The Stock Market Game (which, incidentally, takes all night long!)
As in all things, there is balance.
When I was younger, for whatever guilt and unattainable standards filled my mind, I didn’t keep the balance and I wasn’t all that fun to be around. Now, as my children are going off into the adult word, I’m realizing some things just don’t matter in the grand scheme of eternity.
An immaculate home will not last into eternity but the hours I spent talking with my girls or reading to my boys or laughing (or crying) with friends or helping someone understand & experience freedom from addictions — these WILL last for eternity. In fact they will result in eternal rewards at the hand of our Lord!
I’m not expecting Better Homes & Gardens to show up anytime in MY life with an award for housekeeping – but I AM hoping that my Lord will stand at the Bema seat and say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant!”
Now THAT is something worth hearing! I get chills just thinking about it!!
What areas of stress does God want YOU to let go of?
All Scripture quotations are taken from the NASB.
Unless otherwise indicated, photos from pixaby.comphoto credit: BrittneyBush/flickr creative commons
I just commented about joy, but stress drew me back. I need to refocus and not get so bogged down. There’s so much to be thankful for. Today I bought a Prayer journal and it requires me to say what I’m grateful for, donations of the heart (acts of kindness), and goals and ideas for a better tomorrow.
Reading your blog posts will always be part of my walk. I can’t thank you enough.
Tia, I wish you well with your prayer journal!! Over the years I have come to a greater understanding of the verse that says, “the joy of the Lord is my strength”. When I walk in joy, it affects everything in my life from my relationships to my health. I may not be able to change a lot of circumstances but I can MOST CERTAINLY change how I respond to them!! Have a blessed day, dear!
Love, love, love this one, Lynnae!
It has taken me far too long, but I am beginning to learn this lesson myself. I used to put so much pressure on myself that I was stressed and cranky and couldn’t live in the joy of the Lord because my own expectations were far too high.
Now I try to think of all things in the light of eternity. When I find myself stressed about something, I ask the question, “Will this matter the day I am standing before Christ?” If it won’t and it is causing me stress, I let it go.
This is such an important part of a healthy and happy home. Thank you for bringing us this wisdom and encouragement!