How many times have I heard this over the years?
- My husband isn’t the spiritual leader of my home.
- My husband lets me do it all.
- I wish my husband would just do family devotions.
- Why isn’t my husband leading bible studies at home?
- If only my husband would…
Now, it could very well be that your husband is doing nothing to lead your family into greater spiritual depth. Perhaps he isn’t even saved. BUT very often I’ve found that it’s not so much that he ISN’T being the spiritual leader — it’s that he isn’t be the spiritual leader in the way I THINK HE SHOULD BE!
Let’s face it. As wives, we have VERY DEFINITE ideas on what spiritual leadership should look like. There needs to be family worship or family devotions daily or weekly. There needs to be a time when our husband leads a family bible study. The list goes on as long as our imagination will take us. In fact, we develop our ideas of what a spiritual leader in the home should look like by what OTHER HUSBANDS do. Not from our understanding of scripture, but from our anecdotal information from other wives.
NEWS FLASH: God gave our husbands to US and not to some other woman. And he gave them to OUR family, not to some other family.
God is training each individual husband to work as the head of their home. And, whether you recognize it or not, he IS the head of your home! Whether you honor him in that role or not, that’s who GOD has created him to be.
We have never, in the 27 1/2 years we’ve been married, had family devotions. We tried a couple of times, but it always seemed forced, strained and weird. We are not a *tradition* kind of family – at least not in that way. But we have done other things that sometimes look odd to others.
We talk about scripture ALL THE TIME. It is impossible to be in our home without scripture coming up in random conversations. My husband’s spiritual gift is knowledge and he remembers everything (and I do mean everything) he’s ever read or heard. Of course the Lord only brings it to light when it’s needed in a conversation, but it’s there. So when we are discussing a song lyric, Kevin will pop up a scripture verse that speaks to the truth or lie of that lyric. If we are discussing a movie, Kevin will bring in some scripture references to help us discern the value of the message from the movie in the light of the Kingdom of God. Kevin even talks scripture when he’s playing chess with the boys or with company!
And guess what? This IS what spiritual leadership is about!
It’s not about reading a certain book or singing a song or following a format. It is about a husband using his gifts to help build and strengthen his wife and children in the faith. It won’t look like any other family. It won’t follow the patterns of other homes. And it won’t look the way WE think it should look!
Years ago a dear sweet friend was telling me that she was concerned that her husband wasn’t leading in her home. She wanted him to lead their family bible studies (she was a homeschooler at the time) and he was telling her to lead a particular study during their school time. She thought he wasn’t leading. But he WAS. It just didn’t look the way she expected it to look. He WAS leading by instructing her in the passages of scripture to study with the children. He WAS leading by direction. He listened to her concerns about the children, choose the scripture that would be best for them and handed them to her to teach. He was leading by delegating.
Look at your own husband. How does he lead (where you may not even suspect) your family?