Do you have a hard time getting your children to honor their dad? Are the kids bored when he comes home? Do they not pay much attention to him?
What attitude are YOU exemplifying to them?
photo courtesy of livingpicture: Guatemala ducks
In our home, my husband is the head. He is the one we follow – as he follows Jesus. We want his vision and direction for our family to be the leading guide for our family. I want the children and I to line up like ducks in a row behind his leadership. Whether his leadership is what I want it to look like or not. (Did you hear that one, ladies?? More on that one later this week.)
How can we raise a spirit of excitement in our children for who their father is before God in our homes?
First we start off by being THRILLED with him ourselves! Our children will take our lead (especially when they are young).
- am I excited to see him come home?
- is Daddy walking in the door the best part of my day?
- do I find myself irritated that he is home and IN MY WAY?
- do I regard or disregard what he says at home?
- do I build anticipation in my children’s heart’s for daddy’s return to the home?
One thing I’ve done since the children were just babies was to start the preparation for Dad coming home about a half hour before he did. I would joyfully say, “Hey everybody!! Daddy’s coming home! Let’s make the house just like he likes it. So everybody get busy.” We’d hustle and bustle around and clean what was important for DAD to have cleaned (Kevin likes the couches to be cleared). We’d get cleaned up (particularly me, if I hadn’t showered). All the while I’d be cheering us on that we are wanting Daddy to know how much we love him, how much we respect him, how much we want to be following right behind him “like ducks in a row!”
When he’d come in the door, there was no room for me – everyone was hugging and kissing and shouting, “HOORAY! Daddy’s home!” I’d stay in the other room to give him a chance to enjoy the moment and detach himself, put away his things and settle in. Then I’d go and greet him.
Even today, my children all have great respect, love and honor for Dad. For us it has been easy, because he IS a man of honor. BUT the point for my children is that they were trained from infancy to see Dad as God’s head of our home. When he walked in that door HE was in charge.
Teaching our children to love and obey and respect their dads helps them learn to love and obey and respect God.
What has worked in YOUR house to teach your children to line up, like ducks in a row, behind Dad at your home? Share your stories as a comment or in a blog post you link up.
Linking to:
A Handful of Heart, The Better Mom, Sharing In His Beauty, Monday Musings, Domestically Divine, Time Warp Wife, Gratituesday, Encouraging One Another, Women Living Well, Winsome Wednesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Builds Her House
Marital Oneness
This is a great post! Honestly grief is very hard on marriage. I am thankful for htis reminder how important it is to respect my husband, thank you. I love the sweet pic, did you take it? Also I am doing a link up for mommies that have lost babies/children if you know of anyone that can benefit from the fellowship with other grieving mommies.
Tesha, thanks so much for your sweet words. No, I didn’t take this picture, but it is great, isn’t it?? I am SOOO not a photographer! If I can’t find the picture I want online, I’ll have my 17 year old take one! ;D
I will DEFINITELY keep your link-up in mind and will pass it on. Thanks for linking up.
Love that picture!
Thank you for your very practical ideas, Kate. I must confess that I’ve had to work hard in this area and fail more often than not because I’m a VERY strong personality and Dan is VERY laid back and passive. So it’s easy to bull doze right over the top of him. What I’ve been trying to do lately when the kids come to me (over Dan) to get permission for something, I’ll point them back to him and say, “You need to ask your father.” “Your dad is the head of the home, not me!”
Terri, I HEAR YA!! Kevin’s and my personalities are similar to you and Dan in that way. I think one thing that really helped me on this is that EVERYONE mentioned this issue to us when we were courting as a possible problem area if we didn’t work on it. Nothing like a warning that you might spend your life trying to rule the roost to get you to check your heart (and mouth) early on!!
Thanks, as always, for your sweet comments and for linking up!! Love you, girlfriend!!
Loved your photo which illustrated your post! Your post reminded me of a comment that I heard from my granddaughter this week. She said, “I love the way you always ask Papa for his opinion before you make a decision.” They do follow by example, don’t they?!!
How cool! Yes, I think that when I realized how much my children mirror me…it stopped me SHORT and made me take a long hard look at myself. Now, every time I see something in them that disturbs me, I have to stop and take a hard look at ME to see if they are simply reflecting my own sin! YIKES!
What a blessing to find wives still honoring their husbands in this way!! Wonderful post!
Thanks, Kasey. God is sure good, isn’t He? I love the way He teaches each one of us so we can encourage and teach one another. Kind of like when Paul said, “follow me as I follow Jesus.”
Thanks for linking up!
I really needed to hear this today!
Praise the Lord, Laura.
I’m loving this post today! I love that picture of everyone getting excited about your husband coming home and getting everything ready and pouncing on him at the door. I think my husband would love to be greeted that way and we may try it today 🙂
Emily, thanks for your sweet words. If you try it, I’d love to have you come back and let me know how it goes! ;D
Love the photo of the ducks and that is the way the home should run your husband is the head and you follow Him just like Jesus..In this day and age you be surprised at how many wives don’t do this and I am not just talking about the unsaved I am talking about the saved. They view submission the wrong way…
Desiray, thanks so much. You are so right, this is not how many Christian marriages run. I know from mentoring women. This is just a struggle for us. One that is worthwhile working to change in us.
I love your blog and the vision behind it. Thank you for all you do! I have done the same thing in preparing for Dad to come home. I also make a point to give him a place of honour in our conversation. When teaching my children, I make a point to say, “Dad and Mom” or “Father and Mother” rather than putting myself first. It’s a small thing, but I think it makes a difference. I also know that when the children are dishonouring me, it’s time to take a look at myself and see if I’m dishonouring my husband. They are like little ducklings, following my example!
Thanks Tereasa. It really IS the little things that make a big impact when it comes to how we treat our husbands and train our children! Yes, those little ones are the PERFECT mirrors into OUR lives and failings, aren’t they? Thanks for sharing!
Kate – What a cute story! Yes indeed that is just as it should be. I grew up in a home like that. 😀 Reminded me of this cute Primary Song (Primary is our children’s Sunday School).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqJRR1h20H0
I’m so glad when Daddy comes home,
Glad as I can be!
Clap my hands, and shout for joy,
and climb up on his knee,
Put my arms around his neck,
hug him tight like this,
pat his cheeks and give him what?
A GREAT BIG KISS!
Jennie, those lyrics are so sweet! Praise God you grew up in a home like this…it puts you way ahead of the game, that’s for sure! Thanks for your sweet comment.
I really enjoy your blog even though my four are pretty much grown and I don’t have any grandchildren yet. I only occasionally write about children and parenting on my blog, but plan to link up as often as I can when I have applicable material.
This post about respecting dads is so timely in relationship to the female-centered/directed culture in which we live.
When mine were little, I always tried to make a big deal when my husband came home and greet him at the door with a kiss. I would tell the kids, “Daddy’s home!” They would get very excited and run to greet him with hugs and kisses. He loved this and enjoyed coming home because of it.
Thanks Elizabeth. I appreciate you jumping on the link-up whenever you can. And isn’t it a joy to see the love and delight on our husband’s faces when they see how deeply WE ALL appreciate him!?! Thanks for your thoughts.
Hi Kate – such great advice and I love your picture. We have Egyptian geese who walk around that in our area and its lovely. I love the analogy too. Great post and thank you for linking it up.
God bless
Tracy
Thanks Tracy. I always love linking up to your blog. I thought this picture was just so cute and perfect! ;D
This is wonderful! I’m going to put this to use!
Thanks for stopping by, Sarah! Glad you found it encouraging.
Great advice! You are right, our children watch. I remember one time when our daughter was about 18, she was watching me freshen up my hair and makeup before my husband came home. She commented that she loved it how I still wanted to look my best for him even after “all these years”! She saw how I loved him and she was pleased. She is married and is a mother herself now. I pray that my example of love and respect to her daddy rubbed off in her relationship with her own husband!
Joan, what a sweet testimony of your faithful love in your marriage! I’m sure your daughter is emulating that — it is what she views as “normal” in marriage! Thanks for the neat story.
Kate…excellent reminder! My kids still get excited when their dad walks through the door. And me, too. He’s home and safe. Thank you for a great post and linking up at What Joy Is Mine.
Thanks, Naomi! It IS such a joy to have our children delight in their dads! Thanks for linking up here too! I love your post – and so important to teach our children to apologize with a right heart! Great!
“For us it has been easy, because he IS a man of honor.”
Same here. How blessed we are. And it is so good to say so, to God, ourselves, and oru little ones.
Great post. 🙂
(new visitor from bloggymoms!)
I LOVE hearing how other husbands are loving as Jesus loved! Hooray. Thanks so much for visiting, Emily! Following you.
Kate,
Thanks for sharing on Saturday Show & Tell! I have been attempting to link up on your Monday links but for some reason it won’t let me for two weeks now! 🙁 Not sure why… any suggestions?
Thank you for linking up though, hope to see you back next week! 🙂
Mackenzie
http://www.cheeriosandlattes.com
I’m so sorry, Mackenzie…this comment got put into the spam folder by my filter and I’m just getting to check them today. If you mean on my Tuesday link-up, are you putting a link-back onto your post from mine? It’s set to require the poster to have a link to my blog, either on that post or somewhere on their sidebar. Maybe that’s why it isn’t working? I don’t know. If you have a problem again, please e-mail me at: kate@teachingwhatisgood.com and I’ll see if there is some way I can fix it immediately.
So sorry!