I love the Dick Van Dyke Show from the 1960s.
I think it is one of the best sitcoms of all time. And there were some marvelous scenes that are great to teach us practical biblical principles in our marriages.
(sorry about the hulu ad)
This is such a destructive manipulation game, and one that NO ONE wins! Some things to think about before you get into this mode:
- men and women are NOT the same: they think differently, they process emotions differently, and they respond differently (granted, EVERYONE fits into this category, but it is often easier for us to be understood by a member of our own sex)
- our husbands CANNOT read our minds
- it doesn’t mean our husband don’t love us if they do not know what we are thinking
- the only one who wins when we are not open about what is bothering us is THE ENEMY
- God created us to be a UNIT, to become one flesh, to work and act in unity – just as the Father, Son and Spirit are one – did you ever notice that Jesus spent a lot of time alone with the Father while He walked the earth? I’m POSITIVE much of that time was in intimate communication
- growing into that unity of spirit God designed for us requires HUMBLE, HONEST and GAME-FREE communication with one another
If you play this game in your marriage, tell me, how’s that really working for you? Have you grown in healthy and honoring relationship with your husband? OR are you finding more of a one-up-manship between you that makes it difficult for either of you to back down?
Yes, there are times when we are bugged and don’t really know why.
THIS IS VERY DIFFERENT ALTOGETHER. Kevin and I made a commitment with one another before we got married that we would not consciously play games in our communication (and that we’d work to eliminate any subconscious game playing). But there are times when I’m bugged about something and can’t articulate what it is. During those times we work hard to give space so that I can work out what is bothering me, to enable me to honestly and respectfully communicate it to him. I want to add, that it has happened on his end as well.
Communication is hard enough in marriage without bringing game playing into the control seat!
Are there ways YOU can change how you communicate with your husband so that the “You Know What You Did” game is no longer a part of your marriage? If you don’t know, ask the Lord. He wants to help you change this in your marriage to bring Godly unity and intimacy.