There are times in our marriages when we just don’t agree. Times where we discuss something and cannot come to unity over it. How do we handle this?
Do we nag or do we present a godly appeal to our husbands? Let’s look at the difference.
- we keep bringing the same thing up again and again expecting our husbands to change
- we manipulate our husbands, emotionally (crying or playing the martyr), physically (some women withhold sex), or psychologically (through piling on the guilt)
- if our husbands seem to be unsure, we charge in and push and push until we wear them down and they capitulate, just to get us to shut up
- we pray
- we look to see if we were unclear or confused in our first discussion (particularly if we were emotionally charged) and we plan out a written (always better to have it clearly and orderly in writing) outline of our concerns or points of discussion
- we research if there is any further information that we didn’t know about or present before
- we ask if we can broach this subject again, with a humble spirit and a heart to bring unity – even if that unity will come through OUR changing out minds
- we let them know that our heart and desire is to be submissive, but that we are absolutely working toward a united heart and mind on this subject
…the heart of nagging is for US to be in control
…the heart of a godly appeal is to submit to GOD’S control
We tend to think it is Us versus Our Husbands. But it really is Us versus God. When we nag, we push to get our own way. When we use a godly appeal, we leave the final working (both in our lives and our husbands’) up to God with a heart of humility and surrender.
So, examine your “discussions” with your husband today. Are you finding yourself more on the nagging side? How can you can change how you speak and dialogue with your husband to leave the control up to God?