5 reasons teens drop out of church

By Kate, on April 23rd, 2013%

Are you a parent struggling with your teen not wanting to go to church? Do you see your children rejecting church, and perhaps even God, as they go off to college or jobs? Why does this happen? We try to raise them to love the Lord. But our hearts are filled with guilt and shame as we try to hide the deepest fear of our hearts: our children seem to be completely rejecting God.

Why does this happen? There are many reasons but I’d like to hit on 5.

Reason #1 – They are not really saved.

“But,” you say, “my children prayed the prayer! They walked down the aisle. They’ve GOT to be saved!” If only that were true. The reality is that praying the prayer and walking the aisle have nothing to do with salvation. Salvation is based on repentance and trust:

repentance (the word means to change your mind) is when we have changed our mind about our lives and what is right and what is wrong
trust in the finished work of Jesus on the cross and surrendering to that sacrifice on our behalf

Continuing to live our lives for our own pleasure does not make someone unsaved, but it is a sign of what is in their hearts. A life surrendered to the will of God (NOT to be confused with a set of Dos and Don’ts) is part of the fruit God works in our lives when we trust in Jesus.

“So then, you will know them by their fruits. “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven.” Matt 7:20-21

Reason #2 – They were discouraged from expressing their doubts.

In many churches in our country (and in many families) there is a taboo when it comes to asking questions – particularly questions that speak to doubts about God’s Word. Let’s be real: SCRIPTURE IS OFTEN CONFUSING!!! There are so many things in the bible that I don’t understand. And, if I’m being honest, there are a number of things that I don’t really like. Why should my child be different?

Has your child asked questions that were ‘poo-pooed’? Either by you or your pastor? Have their heart-felt doubts been treated with shame? Has their faith been questioned simply because they weren’t always convinced?

What we don’t realize is that just because WE can’t answer their questions doesn’t mean GOD can’t! Or even more, that He doesn’t actually delight in their questions. God is big enough for every question we have. When we encourage our children (and teach them how) to take their real questions to the Lord and to His Word, they begin to see that God really cares about their fears or doubts. We need to do all we can to bring our children to the foot of the cross and let His Spirit speak to the deepest needs of their hearts with hope and faith.

Reason #3 - They are in unrepentant sin.

When we continue to harbor unrepentance in our hearts, it begins to have a long term affect on us. Look at Cain! He was confronted by God, both before and after Abel’s murder. God gave him a chance to confess his sin and repent – to change his mind. But he did not. He walked right into that sin and killed his brother. Even afterward, there was no repentance that we see in scripture – just Cain justifying his actions with a hardened heart. Then he walked away from God.

Is there unrepentant sin in your teens life? Again, this comes down to the conviction of the Spirit in their lives, but something that you can be praying (and fasting) about!

BUT let me say this; there is a difference between struggles with sin and unrepentant sin. Someone who struggles knows it’s wrong, agrees that it’s wrong but has a hard time learning how to walk in victory. Someone in unrepentant sin knows it’s wrong and just doesn’t care. They are surrendered to their own desires and (sometimes almost gleefully) jump into the sin without any regret.

Reason #4 – They have never been taught what the victorious life means.

It is so disheartening to live with a desire to follow God only to continue to fail. When our children are not taught how to see God’s work in our lives, His hope through the Word and His power by the Spirit, this disheartening turns to discouragement and then to despair and finally to rejection.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Prov 13:12

Are your teens living heartsick in their struggles with sin? Are you working to give them tools to gain victory? I don’t mean, “Don’t do that. It’s sin.” That might be fine if they are 2, but not when they are 14. They need practical help, they need encouragement from the Word, they need us to come alongside them and bring courage to their hearts. Are you helping them see that God’s sanctifying work in their lives actually DOES change them?

When we don’t teach them to see the work of the Spirit in their lives, guilt begins to reign supreme in their hearts and minds. This is a tool of the enemy that will devour their hearts, pushing them do whatever they have to do to stop the guilt. And this might very well mean they leave the church as soon as they are able.

Reason #5 – We are living a lie as their parents.

Nothing turns our children away from the church (and maybe even from God) faster than hypocrisy. Do we live one life at church and another at home? Do we put on our Christian Mask of being all holy and use spiritual language when we are around believers and then become Mr. Hyde when we are with our children? Are WE teaching them to live a lie by our example?

If this is where we are living, then it is no wonder that our children would RUN from what we claim is a good thing. They’ve not seen God’s goodness lived out in our lives and they reject the words we say because they reject the life we live.

This needs a powerful change in OUR hearts. Repentance, confession and surrender.

We need to repent of our hypocrisy to the Lord.
We need to confess our sin to our children and ask for their forgiveness.
We need to surrender our lives fully to the Lord and lean on His Spirit to guide our lives.

None of this means that we can change our children’s lives. God is still sovereign and still gives them choice. They still have to live their lives before the Lord. BUT we can do everything in OUR power to make sure we are not the stumbling block our children’s lives and relationship with God.

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Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R, Pieces of Amy, Homeschool Mother’s Journal

Guest Post - Terri Groh

By Kate, on April 16th, 2013%

I’d like to introduce a very very dear friend of mine, Terri Groh. Terri is a pastor’s wife and knows about ministering to broken and battered hearts and how desperately women need to be encouraged in our day and age. And that is exactly what she does in her new devotional book, Words of Encouragement for a Discouraged World. I’ve invited Terri to share her heart and motivation behind her book with you today. I KNOW you will be blessed and I strongly encourage you to pick up a copy of her book at Amazon.

Author’s Note by Terri A. Groh

Author of Words of Encouragement for a Discouraged World: 52 Weekly Devotionals for Today’s Woman

I met Kate Megill through an online message board for homeschoolers about 12 years ago. Though we’ve never met face to face, I consider Kate a dear friend. I know that I can go to her with anything and she always has wonderful, Godly wisdom. She definitely has the gift of encouragement! I keep telling her that someday we are going to have to find a way to meet face to face.

Today, Kate has invited me to write an author’s note. Thank you, Kate!

My first book, Words of Encouragement for a Discouraged World: 52 Weekly Devotionals for Today’s Woman was released on April 5th. I started writing weekly devotionals for a group of women in my church five years ago. These devotionals were a result of my own private quiet time with the Lord and were truths He was teaching me in my own struggles. I also began sharing them on my blog, Hearts in Service around the same time. As women began responding positively to these devotionals, I realized that by sharing my own struggles and being transparent in my writing that I was meeting a need that many women had.

I know that many Christian women struggle with different issues but are often afraid to share those things. I am a pastor’s wife and yet, I wrestle with sinful behavior, attitudes and thoughts just like everyone else does. I get discouraged and depressed with the best of them! Yet, God is faithful and He is constantly at work in my life, just as He is in yours. I felt that as I shared my own personal stories, it may help someone else in their own struggle with that same issue.

My desire is that each devotional in Words of Encouragement for a Discouraged World will encourage you, yet challenge you to go beyond the mediocre in your Christian walk. I have a question or small assignment at the end of each devotional to think about as well as lines to journal additional thoughts or ways that the Lord is speaking to you.

If you are looking for encouragement and hope, then I hope you will purchase this book. You can find out more information about Words of Encouragement for a Discouraged World at my website, terrigroh.com or you can purchase it from Amazon.

Now it’s time for my weekly link-up. Join me with sharing more encouragement for women from women!

But I'm not a teacher! Spiritual Gifts Part 2

By Kate, on April 11th, 2013%

Have you ever just wanted to teach a bible study? Your heart is bursting to share the Word with others but teaching isn’t your spiritual gift. What do you do? Are you stuck just not ministering in areas that are not your gift?

I’m here to tell you: that’s NOT how the gifts of The Spirit work!

spiritual gifts (image courtesy of Master/FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

His gifts were not given to us to LIMIT our ministry. They were given to us to EMPOWER our ministry!

Let’s look at 3 different saints and how they use their unique gifts for God’s glory and for the body of Christ, all through teaching.

Tom might have a gift of administration
Betsy might have a gift of pastor (yes, women can have the spiritual gift of pastor)
Allen might have the gift of mercy

Every single person listed here can do ANY kind of ministry they want. That’s right, ANY kind! Then what do spiritual gifts have to do with anything, you might ask. Well, our spiritual gifts will anoint HOW we minister.

Tom might let his gift bring order and clarity to his teaching. He might have regular handouts for his classes. He might link you up as partners to encourage and help one another. He might have your studies on Powerpoint for greater visual clarity. He will teach the Word using his gift to organize and lay things out and delegate. And every one in his class will gain from his using his gift. They will actually be strengthened in this area of administration as they sit under Tom’s teaching.

Betsy will be a shepherd in her teaching. She will make sure that individuals are not getting lost in the shuffle. Her students will feel loved and cared for in her class. They will learn, from watching her, a greater focus on caring for one another’s needs – to bear one another’s burdens and every one in the class will be strengthened in the area of shepherding one another as they sit under Betsy’s teaching.

Allen may use his gift to stretch the class to reach out to the hurting. His class may do more service from their study of the Word. They may focus on the downtrodden, the rejected, they may focus more on being the hands and feet of Jesus – to actually live out in a practical way – the teachings of the scriptures. And every one in his class will be stretched and encouraged in their vision to reach out to the hurting as they sit under Allen’s teaching.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Cor 12:4-7

Don’t let anyone hold you back in ministering in any way. But manifest the Spirit’s gift to you in strength and in power as you strengthen the body of Christ!

Download my FREE ebook on learning to study the Word so that you can teach others.Part 1: Spiritual Gifts – What are they?
Part 2: Spiritual Gifts – But I’m not a teacher!

Re-post: Do you have margin in your life?

By Kate, on March 29th, 2013%

Have you ever noticed how hectic our lives are in today’s society? If our children go to school, they are up before 6 (and us along with them), race to get ready, race to prepare breakfast and lunch for them to take, race to get them either on the bus or dropped off at school. Even if we homeschool, we are up and get breakfast and get busy with schooling, then lunch, doing laundry while grading, getting the house cleaned after an afternoon of crafts and/or school projects, then supper and evening events.

Work hours are long, more and more companies are requiring mandatory overtime. Sometimes long drives to and from work/school. My husband teaches at a college and teaches evening classes and grades, what seems like, all the time. Our children have sports, church, ministry things they are involved with, and we are not even a big sports family. Plus our own church ministry. We are on the go all the time.

margin

What is margin anyway and why do we need it?

According to Webster’s it is:

The part of a page at the edge left uncovered in writing or printing.
Something allowed, or reserved, for that which can not be foreseen or known with certainty.

When I was in school, all my coursework was hand written on lined paper. We had to keep a certain amount of margin on both edges of the page. This allowed a few things. It gave us space if we had to write a word so we wouldn’t go off the page, and it gave space for the teacher to write their comments or corrections for us to address.

In other words, the margin was a bit of leeway on each page to give breathing room so we didn’t run off the page into oblivion.

How often do we allow margin in our lives today? Are we involved in so many things that, if anything goes wrong, our lives “run off the page”? Do we give ourselves some breathing space in case things get too hectic or do we max out the commitments we have in our days?

Years ago the woman who was involved in overseeing my discipling used to say, “For the believer, the good is the enemy of the best.” That seems, at first glance, to be an odd statement. But if we look a little closer, we see the great wisdom in it.

a bible study is a good thing
being involved in ministry is a good thing
doing play dates for our children is a good thing
mentoring others is a good thing
counseling others is a good thing
taking classes is a good thing

But here comes the point:

If any of these GOOD things are not what God is calling us to be doing, they actually become the ENEMY of the best things God has for us in our lives. If we are spending all of our time, effort and energy on these GOOD things, we do not have the opportunity to do the BEST things God has for us.

And it is all of these good things that generally cause us to live our lives WITHIN the margins of our lives. They sap our strength, our energy, our focus and have nothing left to give to the God ordained responsibilities in our lives.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus would take Himself away to a secluded place, away from the crowds and even His disciples? Jesus knew full well when His life had run into the margin and that He needed to be filled with the peace, rest, refreshment and power from the Father. He knew when He needed to allow His physical body to be given time be filled from on high. He knew the BEST the Father had called Him to and lived right there, not allowing the demands of others to thwart His following the Father’s best.

by: twinmomy_bucket

But so often we forget to take that intense time of fellowship with God. We run on our own strength and fill up the margins of our lives so that we no longer have the time or opportunities to find those secluded places of refreshment and filling. We run out of gas in our engines with no time to fill up – we run our lives on fumes and wonder why we are living without the power of the Spirit.

Please know I am NOT saying that any of the things I’ve mentioned above are bad, or that we shouldn’t be doing them. What I AM saying is that ALL of the things in our lives need to be brought before the Lord. We need to be willing for Him to weed out all the things that are sucking life from us so that we have room for the life-giving things He has for us.

Also remember that this will change as our lives change. When I was a young mom with numerous young children there were few things God opened up for me to be involved in. Just being home to raise and disciple those young children (and then with homeschooling as well) and minister to my husband took most of my energy and focus. Adding bible studies or other ministries would have caused me to live using up all the margin of my life. Now that my children are older, I have more leeway to be involved in things outside the home. As my life responsibilities change, so do the things God opens up for me.

But for each of us, no matter WHAT situation we are in, we need to be sure that we are taking EVERY event, task or ministry before the Lord to see if it is HIS best or just a good thing that keeping us from the calling of God for us. Don’t let your margin get filled up so that when trials come (and they will), you have no space in your life.

Let God design your schedule so that there is opportunity for those times of refreshing, so that you don’t fill up the margin with every day events that will sap you of joy, peace and power of the Lord.

Do you feel insignificant?

By Kate, on March 27th, 2013%

donkey and colt (source)

This past Sunday our pastor taught on Matthew 21, about Jesus riding into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. He took a little detour and spoke about the man who owned the donkey and colt, the latter of which Jesus rode. We don’t know this man’s name. We don’t know anything about him other than when Jesus called upon him, he was available and obedient. His deed is recounted in the scriptures for the world to see. Was he significant for the Kingdom of God? Absolutely! We may not know his name, but we know his fruit.

Then our pastor went on to share these facts:

Sunday School teacher Edward Kimball helped lead his student, a Boston shoe salesman, Dwight L. Moody, to Christ
D.L. Moody spoke at a church in the British Isles and inspired a young man, Frederick Meyer to become an evangelist
D.L. Moody later led J. Wilbur Chapman to Christ at an evangelistic meeting
Frederick Meyer spoke in a church in MA and he inspired Chapman to further surrender to the call of God on his life, he became a mighty evangelist
Wilbur Chapman trained Billy Sunday in ministry
Billy Sunday led Mordecai Ham to the Lord at an evangelistic meeting
Mordecai Ham led Billy Graham to the Lord at a revival meeting

Many of us have heard some or all of these names. Except maybe for Edward Kimball. He was a man who was available to share the gospel when God opened the opportunity for him. The fruit of his deeds have gone on from generation-to-generation of men of God, living lives of availability.

In all of this, we look at our own little lives. For example, I’m just a housewife and homemaker. I have no great preaching or teaching ministry. I’m not a good public speaker. I’m on the plain side: I’m no raving beauty, I’m not artistically or musically talented, I’m quite short and overweight and BALD! BUT I have mentored women who have gone on to have great (much greater than mine) impact on the Kingdom of God. Missionaries, counselors, teachers, evangelists.

I’ve shared about mentoring before and the way we can have a spiritual legacy in that way. On another group I’m part of, one gal encouraged all of us small bloggers to not be discouraged if we feel we have small audiences.

The reality in all of this is that if we are available and obedient to the Lord, He does GREAT things with our lives!

Will people know my name like they do D.L. Moody or Billy Sunday or Billy Graham? I sincerely doubt it! But it isn’t fame that makes my life significant. It isn’t popularity or wealth. What makes my life significant is this one little question:

Am I available to the Lord for whatever He calls me to?

Am I willing to be used, like that man who had the donkey and colt, for the Master’s service? Do I feel like throwing in the towel because I don’t see the results of my ministry?

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, And do not return there without watering the earth And making it bear and sprout, And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;

So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it. Is 55:10-11

So, where are YOU with the Lord? Is the illusive draw of fame keeping you from being fully engaged in His calling or the passion He’s placed on your heart to reach your part of the world for the Kingdom of God? Are YOU willing to be fully available for whatever He calls you to?

Download my FREE e-book on how to study the bible so you can teach others.

Spiritual gifts: what are they?

By Kate, on March 16th, 2013%

holy spirit dove (source)

One of my dear online friends (Laura) asked me to talk about spiritual gifts. This is such a deep and broad subject I won’t be able to do it all in one post. So, here is the introduction.

What are spiritual gifts anyway?

Let’s look at the Greek words used to describe gifts:

pneumatikos- this word means of the spirit: that part of us that connects to God or that which is from God

this focuses on the manifestation of the spiritual in our lives and is not always used regarding spiritual gifts in the NT but about the spiritual

charisma- this word means the gift of divine grace or something you receive without merit

in Romans 5:15-16 and Romans 6:23 it is the word used for our salvation

doma – this word means a gift

dōrea - this also simply means a gift

merismos – this word means a distribution of various kinds or separation, as in cleave asunder and separate

So, spiritual gifts are, first of all spiritual. They are from God, not something we earn or can attain to on our own. They are supernatural and are a manifestation of the power and might of God. Here are two passages on gifts. But first I want to start with this verse, which doesn’t even have the word in it:

For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. Rom 12:3

For me, this is a sobering and humbling verse. Spiritual things, be it grace, faith or gifts, are allotted to us from GOD. This makes it very clear that I cannot take any credit for any of it. If I have a gift of teaching or mercy – it isn’t MY abilities that are on display. It is GOD’S NATURE AND CHARACTER that is being manifested through me. Just to make sure in our study here that the honor and credit goes to the One to whom it is due.

Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12:6-8

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit; to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, and to another the effecting of miracles, and to another prophecy, and to another the distinguishing of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually just as He wills. 1 Cor 12:4-11

These passages are so rich! I can’t even begin to do justice to them. But I’m sharing them in this introduction to show several things:

God gives gifts according to His will
God does not give the same gift to everyone
God intends for our gifts to be used in His strength and power
God gives spiritual gifts for the benefit of the entire body of Christ
God works through who we are, our uniqueness to work these gifts uniquely through us – even if 2 people have the same gift, it will manifest differently in ministry and effects
God intends for us to minister using our spiritual gift by His power, for the building up of the church and for His glory

Later on we’ll be looking more specifically at some of the different gifts, bringing up some controversial points, and how can we learn to minister more effectively through our gift. Please know, I am NOT going to talk about pigeon holing anyone into certain ministries or programs – but to help you learn to minister wherever you desire and have a passion! Today’s post is just a start. Please remember to check back as I share more from the Word on this.

Download my free e-book Modeling Timothy: How to Study the Bible in Order to Teach Others

Part 1: Spiritual Gifts – What are they?
Part 2: Spiritual Gifts – But I’m not a teacher!

Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R, Pieces of Amy

I need your help!

By Kate, on February 14th, 2013%

tom terrific

I need you to get your thinking caps on!

Some of you who know me, know that my spiritual gift is Word of Wisdom. It’s not that I’m this super wise person or anything. It’s just that if you share a struggle or problem with me for counsel, the Lord often gives me a Word of Wisdom. He’ll give me specific insight into YOUR heart and often cut right to the core need/issue. Very often He’ll give me a verse and a very specific application to your life. It is a WORD of His Wisdom for YOU.

My gift doesn’t lend itself well to public speaking – but for one-on-one, the Holy Spirit goes to town!

So, here is where I need you. I would LOVE for you to share topics you’d like for me to address. If someone has a question, that would be wonderful. The more specific or practical to life, the better! (general topics are more like public speaking — I don’t do so well there) I’d love to dedicate some of my posts to specifically speak to issues you might be dealing with or need help in order to help someone else.

Many of my blog posts come out of my years of mentoring/discipling times. I would love to expand that and let the Spirit speak to needs YOU might have.

So put on your thinking caps and ask your questions. If you prefer anonymity, you are more than welcome to email me. I’d like to thank my daughter for this suggestion! (you know who you are )

Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Back to School Monday, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R, Pieces of Amy

Faithful Freezer Friday

By Kate, on January 25th, 2013%

This week I was able to double 2 1 meal for the freezer! I made a huge batch of meatballs and spaghetti and 1/2 went ~~into the freezer~~ for lunches all week and onto our pizza last night and I made chicken cordon bleu casserole which is a recipe that actually doubles. So one for us and one for the freezer.

Sometimes I just don’t have the fortitude to put the meatballs away until they are all gone!!! *sigh*

Here’s some photos of the meatball making process. I do it differently from most folks. I cook mine in the sauce. No browning. And they are moist and YUMMY!

All the ingredients for Killer Meatballs.

Form them and roll them in flour, shaking off excess.

Drop them into the simmering sauce and gently stir to keep from sticking.

Oh man…are they good! Thanks, Dad!

I’ve linked to both recipes in case you are interested in trying them out. Trust me, you’ll want to!

Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Back to School Monday, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R

What I learned from Desperate

By Kate, on January 9th, 2013%

Desperate

I hope by now you have bought your copy of Desperate. If you haven’t then head on over to buy the book AND begin to jump in on the fun of the giveaways, gifts and online support and encouragement.

I wanted to share something that smacked me upside the head when I was reading this book.

I’m on the other side of Desperate in my life now…my youngest is 11 and 4 of my children are now adults. I’m in a very different place. Yes, I can vividly remember those sleepless nights when I had to tie a baby to me with my bathrobe for fear of dropping her while I tried to burp her, I was so tired. I remember not speaking to an adult for days – my husband was in grad school and he’d come home between 1-2 am and leave to get back to school by 7 am. I remember having to take 5, 6, 7 children everywhere I went. I had no family nearby. We lived in a college town and there were very few married couples in my church and no truly older woman.

But I come from a time and family that just DEALT with hard situations. You didn’t ask for help, you just did what you had to do. Today we say we “sucked it up.”

I was reading page 20 of Desperate (I’ll let you run and get your copy to follow along…) and felt a THUD in my chest and then the tears started to trickle and then BURST forth! I’m not a sobber, but I was sobbing!

Sally was telling of visiting a friend and how her friend had prepared a tray with a lit candle, pot of tea, muffins and vase with flowers, and a note that said she was praying for her and other sweet encouragement. She wrote the following that absolutely echoed my heart:

Unexpectedly, the tears began flowing down my face. I was so used to toughing it out and taking care of all of our family’s needs and losing sleep and caring for the kids alone that I didn’t even know how much I needed a real live friend who could communicate to me that I was not invisible, and show me thoughtfulness that comes from a heart moved by the Spirit of God. Even just the thought that someone else had been considerate of me and prepared my breakfast touched a very deep vulnerable place in my heart that I had not even recognized as a need.

(source)

My breath catches in my chest even now as I type this.

I have never had this. Please know I LOVE MY LIFE. I have no regrets or latent frustrations or hostility. I do not begrudge the years of service and ministry to my husband or the mentoring I’ve done (and still do) to young mothers. I’ve had a couple of times of young friends taking me out for a “kidnapping” date. Even the year when I had an older mentor in North Dakota – she taught me, she corrected me, she trained me. But it wasn’t a time where I was completely pampered and prayed over and had my needs met.

This was all just one more confirmation to me that the heart and passion God placed on my heart 33 years ago (back when my hair fell out) of His plan for older women to come alongside the younger women and gently lead them (train and correct too) and be a HELP was EXACTLY RIGHT!

If you are an older woman, are YOU pouring your life into a young mom?Are YOU thinking about the needs you had to be mothered? Are YOU coming alongside and giving her help in her times of feeling Desperate?

If not…I think it’s time you did!

Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Back to School Monday, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R

Desperate - on sale NOW!

By Kate, on January 7th, 2013%

I am SO EXCITED, honored and privileged to share some very thrilling news about a brand new book out: Desperate.

Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe

Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson is a breath of fresh air for moms! I read it through in 2 days (and I am NOT a reader) and all along the way said, “YES!”

Do you ever feel like you are all alone in mothering?
Do you ever feel like you just can’t do it today, like you need to crawl under the covers and hide?
Do you ever feel like if one more person says, “Mom”, you will scream?
Do you ever feel like a failure and that you are ruining your children?
Do you ever find yourself struggling with:
- exhaustion?
- frustration?
- fear?
- guilt?
- loneliness?

Have you ever felt any of that? Then you need to read Desperate, you need the encouragement to find the help you need.

This is NOT a How To parenting book.
This is NOT an organizational book.
This is NOT a How To homemaking, homeschooling, homesteading book.
This is NOT a book telling you how to do a better job, how to do more work, how to follow to this formula and life will magically be better.

This is NOT a book TO you,
it is a book FOR you.
It is a book to touch your spirit, your soul.
It is a book to let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Sarah Mae and Sally touch on the needs we all have, at one point in our lives, and give support TO MOMS that we can make it through!

And if this weren’t enough, they have TONS of support and fun!

giveaways
gifts for purchasing during the Launch Week
online bible studies
a free 7 day devotional
a Twitter party with Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson (with prizes)
and more…

So hurry and purchase your book THIS WEEK to be a part of all the excitement of this Launch Week and get started with the encouragement and blessing you will receive from this WONDERFUL book!!

I’ll be posting on Wednesday with something from my own life that resonated when I read this book.

Blogs I might be linking to:
Menu Planning Monday, On The Menu Monday, Erin Branscoms, Marital Oneness, The Better Mom, Multitudes on Monday, Hear it On Sunday, Sharing His Bounty, What Joy Is Mine, Playdates at the Well, Back to School Monday, Domestically Divine Tuesdays, Time Warp Wife, Funky Planet Frequent Flier Club, Encourage One Another, Living Well Wednesdays, The Welcoming House, Legacy Leaver Thursday, What’s Up Wednesday, Thought Provoking Thursday, Hearts 4 Home, Thankful Thursday, First Day of My Life , Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Big Family Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Feasting In Fellowship Friday, Homemaking Link-up Week-end, A Little R&R