courtesy of photobucket: StabArtToDeath1
One thing I know about women...
We are ALWAYS comparing ourselves to one another.
We look at our lives, at our shortcomings, at our failings and we think NO ONE else is as bad as we are! Trust me, I know all about that. I have been through the gamut of “comparing ourselves to ourselves.” I deal with the insecurities of not measuring up:
- I’m not a great housekeeper
- I’m not a great cook
- I hate grocery shopping
- I get frustrated with my children
- I get irritated with my husband
- I’m a failure as a friend
- I’m a poor example in my life
- I’m overweight (or under tall, whichever)
- I struggle with hormones that make me lose my mind
- I’m selfish and lazy
The list goes on and on.
I remember, a number of years ago, looking at a pretty popular blog and being OVERWHELMED!! This blog was HUGE…there were dozens of recipes, DIY projects galore, farming help and posts, a photography section, homeschooling projects and help. That was all I saw before I got off the site with sweat breaking out on my flesh.
I could NEVER do anything like that! I had been blogging for several years at that point but my blog posts were mostly reminders to me to do my laundry and get our homeschooling done before bedtime.
My problem? I thought that every woman was able to do farming, homeschooling, gorgeous photography, and have Better Homes & Gardens homes and backyards and perfectly behaved and groomed children.
My reality? I killed plants and homeschooled in pjs and from bed sometimes; I take photos of left nostrils mostly, every room of my house is tilted and generally messy 20 hours of the day, my yard has every weed indigenous to the state of Illinois except for 1 and if my children are wearing two shoes that match when we go to church, it is a good day!
THE reality? EVERYONE deals with these kinds of things if they are honest!
Our lives go in phases. Some phases we are bookin’! Everything is in sync, we are on a roll and things are going fine. Some phases we are good if we are able to get out of bed and get meals on the table and wash the laundry the night before we need to use it. Some times our children are reading from the same book we are and sometimes we are SURE they have been demon-possessed. Sometimes we would do the Duggars proud and sometimes we are so tired from crying babies and mischievous toddlers and walking the floors all night and absent husbands that if we get to go to the toilet alone we count it a major victory for the day.
In all of this — our hope and comfort is that Jesus is still with us! He gives us the grace and the strength to carry on each day. He fills us with the power in His Spirit to live His life through our body. He gives to His beloved sleep!
So, no matter what stage of life you are in:
- single hoping for God to bring a mate
- married longing for a baby and in anguish that it is not happening
- with many young babies and toddlers feeling like you cannot think, you are so tired and needing real help in your day
- dealing with teenagers and feeling insecure and like a failure
- working through the phases of the empty nest
- dealing with the hormones of aging and CRS (can’t remember stuff)
GOD will see you through! He will never leave you or forsake you. Everyone knows how you feel! NONE of us have it together. Some of us haven’t even FOUND it all, let alone have it together.
Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13
Be encouraged. As we continue to walk faithfully with God, resting in His truth, in the power of His Spirit, He will work in our lives to give strength, wisdom and growing the character of Jesus in our lives.
Linking to:
The Better Mom, Multitudes On Monday, Sharing In His Beauty, Monday Musings, Making Mondays Meaningful, Domestically Divine, Time Warp Wife, Gratituesday, Encouraging One Another, Women Living Well, Winsome Wednesday, Raising Homemakers, Wise Woman Builds Her House, Marital Oneness, Big Family Friday, Heart 4 Home, Finding Him Friday, Playdates At The Well, On Your Heart Tuesday, Soli Deo Gloria, Teach Me Tuesdays, Thankful Thursday, Proverbs 31 Thursdays, Thought Provoking Thursday, First Day of My Life Thankful Thursdays, Thankful, Thankful Thursday Brown-eyed Bell(e), Show & Tell Saturday, Just For Fun Fridays
Other than the fact that my husband and I don’t yet have children…I could have written this. It is SUCH an encouragement and a relief to know that I’m not alone; that there are so many other women out there who feel just as I do! Thank you SO much for this. I especially appreciate the strong presence of the Gospel in your writing–because in the end, that’s what REALLY matters most.
Blessings to you!!
I think one of the enemy’s CHIEF tactics is to keep us isolated from one another. It gets our eyes focused on US rather than on HIM. Years ago I had a friend who said to me, “It is so encouraging to come into your house and see it a mess. I always thought you had your whole life together.”
Well, I’m so thrilled to be used as an encouragement to other women by my FAILURES!!! LOL! I laugh and say, “Praise God!”
Kate, thank you for writing this today. I woke up this morning starting down that road of comparison and God used you and my husband to set me right again. Our son will be getting married soon…a lovely, Godly young woman who comes from a family that I have always wished ours was more like. Her mother is so many things that I would like to be and the truth is that I am jealous. Discontent with who God has made our family to be. Ack…so ugly! Thank you for the reminder to set my eyes on the One who, regardless of personality or weaknesses, is able to transform us into the image of His Son.
Laurie, I’m so glad that your husband is there to help you see things more clearly! It’s not how “perfect” we are, it’s how SURRENDERED that God delights in. I’m excited for your son’s upcoming marriage and praying that YOU will be a vessel of blessing in reality and grace to his new bride when she struggles (and she WILL) with these very things!!
Great encouragement today, Kate! I go through phases of being really on top of everything and organized to other phases of barely making through the day with anything done. It’s helpful to remember that there will be bad days. I need to keep my eyes where they should be!
Terri…I love you so much!!!
Kate, I think if we lived near one another we would be very good friends. I struggle as much as you but I don’t tell anyone. LOL I love your honesty. Together, we have it all!
LOL!! I’m sure of it, dear!!!
I enjoyed that, Kate! And you are sooooo right. I enjoy your writing because it’s both serious and humorous. Thanks for sharing at Make Life Meaningful Monday!
Thanks, Michelle!! You are so sweet and I’m blessed. Thanks for hosting the link-up!! I’m really enjoying it and your blog!
This post really touched me. I have three children and when I turn around the clean livingroom is now a room filled with popcorn kernels, blocks, trains, and blankets (all this morning by 9am). My life is overwhelming much of the time and I find myself feeling alone and frustrated. Thank you for the perpective. I often forget that I can turn to Him for my succor – and that comparing myself to others does me no good.
Genevieve, I completely understand your day!! I’m blessed if you were able to be encouraged in the Lord!! As my friend Tamara always says, “For this we have Jesus!”
Beautiful. I love how you write. And I’ve definitely felt all those things on that list. Oh the deep pit of comparison! Finding my satisfaction in Christ and the niche and calling he has for ME and me alone….now that’s where peace can be found. Thank you for this! Visiting from TPT :0)
Lauren, you are so sweet. And amen! Thanks so much for coming by and for your encouragement.
Oh Kate. This really spoke to me today. I REALLY needed to hear this…thank you. You are a gem <3
And thank you for linking up to First Day of My Life's Thankful Thursday
Cami, I’m so glad to hear that you were encouraged today. May the Lord bless you and fill you with the joy of the Lord!! I love your link-up!
And we are fearfully and wonderfully made
All individuals, all unique. Amen!
Amen, Kathleen. Amen!
well said. reading about the blog you were talking about makes me think of Ree over @ the Pioneer Woman. Love that lady, but I seriously DK how she does it all!
Thanks for linking up
You are spot on! Yes it was her blog…:D But I do admire her greatly.
Thanks for sharing this encouragement today. I really needed a reminded that it’s ok to have a bad day sometimes! (today has been one of those crazy days)
Visiting from over at ‘Thought-provoking Thursday’ link up.
Cathy, yes we DO have those days…sometimes weeks! But God is good, no matter what, and it is so freeing NOT to be stuck in the guilt of comparison. Thanks for coming by.
The job of our enemy is to deceive! We need to rebuke him if he tells us lies and lose our confidence! patsy
Patsy, you are so right. The problem comes in when we cannot SEE his words as lies…when we believe what he is telling us. PRAISE GOD for those in the body of Christ who come alongside of us and share GOD’S truth into our hearts and minds. Thanks for coming by and visiting!
Love this, Kate. Such a wonderful reminder to fix our eyes where they’re meant to be (and that is definitely not on ourselves!).
Aw, thanks, Carina! Amen, sister!
“He gives us the grace and the strength to carry on each day. He fills us with the power in His Spirit to live His life through our body.” Well said Kate! Thank you for much encouragement and for sharing this at WJIM.
Thanks, Naomi! It’s always so fun when you stop by.
I was going to say I could have written this post – I struggle so much with comparing myself to others. But as I read through the other comments it was proven to me, once again (!), that I am not alone in this. When I stop myself and force myself to see the reality, I see that I am right where God wants me to be, doing just what He wants me to do. And that is reassuring.
I was going to say I could have written this post – I struggle so much with comparing myself to others. But as I read through the other comments it was proven to me, once again (!), that I am not alone in this. When I stop myself and force myself to see the reality, I see that I am right where God wants me to be, doing just what He wants me to do. And that is reassuring.